By What We Love Book Club Discussion Guide

By What We Love

Discussion Guide

**SPOILER ALERT** – Please don’t read this before reading the book, as it contains spoilers!

1. Do you think Eloise is a workaholic? Or do you think she’s just viewed that way because she’s a woman? Does her attitude towards work, promotion, advancement and her family and future seem different than most men in high pressure jobs?

2. Do you think there would be a major problem if Moses and Eloise’s positions were reversed with Moses needing to move for a promotion and expecting Eloise to give up her job which she loved?  Why or why not?

3. In Chapter 20, Moses demanded that Eloise make a decision on whether she wanted children or not, stating twice ‘You need to figure that out’.  Was this fair?

4. What are your thoughts regarding Eloise’s relationship and feelings toward her family? Were they understandable, or do you feel she was misguided?

5. A lot of Eloise’s emotional issues and her drive to succeed came from feeling abandoned and rejected by her mother and ashamed of her father. Do you think that Eloise needed to go through intensive therapy to help her handle the traumatic death of her mother?  What type of therapy?  She did have meetings with a psychologist as a child, but did it seem enough?

6. Was Tracey being a true friend by consoling Moses and not telling Eloise about the situation? Or do you think she should have been more upfront about how close they were much sooner?

7. Do you think there was more Eloise could have done or should have done to protect and guide her sister so Lori could have avoided teen pregnancy?

8. What do you think of the way the grown children of Pop and Evelyn responded to their parents’ upcoming marriage?

9. What do you think of the quote Eloise reads on the locket in the final chapter: “We are shaped and fashioned by what we love”? Do you agree with it? Obviously that’s where the book gets its title, what relevance do you feel it holds for the story as a whole and for Eloise’s realizations at the end of the novel?

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